diary

january 1st, 2025

hello ! today i put together this page, or just the beginnings of it. it's also the "new year". my resolution is to get a new job. but this isn't that, this is just for fun.

january 3rd, 2025

i thought i might write more. last night after i got off work i felt i might go directly to sleep. later in the night when sunny came to bed, i remember wanting to wake up to be with her, but i couldn't quite wake up all the way, so i started shaking and breathing quickly. i think i scared her.

late at night she woke me up again, saying she heard a noise downstairs outside of our apartment, and she was so scared she could cry. i tried to comfort her by saying our door was locked, i could get dressed and go look, but she just wanted me to be awake to touch her so she could fall asleep again. it scared me too.

having one of those weekends where i feel aimless, lacking motivation and inspiration. not quite bored, just, whatever i do is wrong. i tried applying for a job at the library and i gave myself medicine, but i still feel wired, like i didn't sleep at all. i hope my sleeping problems aren't coming back.